By Julie DeLong, A-1 Freeman Moving Group
Moving in together is a trial; a test of whether you and your partner can stand each other once you're in close proximity all the time. Some couples pass with flying colors, and some... well, some don't. If you find yourself in that second category, and you need to make sure that your ex gets out and stays out, then it's important to make sure you don't miss a trick when it comes to the moving out process.
If you want to be sure they can't pull the, "Well, I was in the neighborhood, and remembered I still had some stuff to pick up," card, then you should follow these tips.
When you live with someone, your stuff tends to mingle. However, if you've broken up, then it's time to re-draw those lines to make it clear whose stuff is whose. So, go room by room, and put all your ex's stuff to the side. This is going to be harder than it sounds, both because of the memories attached to the stuff, and because you'll be constantly making a list of things you now need to replace. But you need to do it quickly, and efficiently. Rip the band-aid off all at once, and the sting will fade faster.
Once you have all your ex's stuff in one place, don't just stick it in a closet, or leave it in a spare room. You need it out of your place, so you can breathe for a while and distance yourself from the memories.
That doesn't mean chuck it out the window or toss it out on the curb (satisfying as that might be, depending on your situation). However, find their stuff a home outside of your place. Leave it with one of your ex's friends or take it to their mom's place. If all else fails, hire a professional mover and get a storage unit. Give your ex the key to the unit so they can go get it when they're ready for it. But don't let it sit in your place; the last thing you need when trying to pick up and move on is an anchor sitting in the corner.
Another thing your ex might drag their feet on is finding somewhere to go, now that you've broken up. And sure, finding a place is no picnic, especially when you're doing it on your own. Which is why, though you have plenty of other stuff to do, you should help locate a place for them to go.
Whether it means finding another apartment that's open and within their price range (on the other side of town) or talking with your friends to see who could use an extra roommate, make sure you don't let the grass grow under your ex's feet. You need them out the door along with their stuff, and if they have somewhere to go, they can't pull the guilt trip that you're just kicking them out onto the street.
Breaking up is hard, there's no two ways about that. But when you must do something, it's important to take concrete steps toward completion every day. If you don't have the time, or the energy, to pack up everything in one day, then pack one room a day or call a moving company to help with the packing and moving. If you can't drive all over town checking on apartment prices, don't worry, you have the magic of the smartphone and the Internet. Send a few emails or make a few calls.
The important thing is that you are moving forward, and not just staying where you are... or worse, waiting for everything to just fix itself.
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